Lighten up N’Zogbia
This week, Newcastle United footballer Charles N’Zogbia threatened to go on strike because his manager, Joe Kinnear insulted him by calling him ‘Insomnia’ in front of the nation on live TV. I watched that interview. What happened was Joe Kinnear, who, let’s face it, is no Barack Obama when it comes to speech-making, became tongue-twisted. He had a stab at saying N’Zogbia, fluffed it, had another go, fluffed it again, changed N’Zogbia to ‘Insomnia’ and finally, with a rueful grin at his own ineptitude, resorted to ‘Charlie….’ My reaction, as a viewer, was to smile and to sympathise - with both Kinnear and N’Zogbia.
There’s no two ways about it; it is awkward having a foreign surname. The unfamiliar combination of consonants and vowels scares people, especially people who have to introduce you to an audience. Librarians work themselves into quite a tizz about Pielichaty. ‘How do you say your name again?’ they ask with an anxious glint in their eyes. Responding ‘With difficulty’ isn’t helpful. ‘Pielichaty’ I tell them ‘Pierre as in the French for Peter, li- hatty.’ ‘Oh, not Peeli-chatty then?’ ‘No, not peelichaty or pearlichatty or pelickity. Pierre-li-hatty.’
After they have introduced me, I’ll give them a mark out of ten for effort. I make a joke of it and if they get it wrong, I don’t mind because at least they had a go. If I threatened to walk out of every school hall, library or festival where I was wrongly introduced, I’d never get to perform (no bad thing, some might mutter).
Now Kinnear’s interview may well have been the final straw for N’Zogbia. Who knows what else has been going on? But if I were N’Zogbia, I’d cut the guy some slack. And look on the bright side. However many times people get your surname wrong it’s better than being called Pratt, isn’t it?
Tags: N'Zogbia