Jill Murphy's Worst Witch

I don’t remember celebrating Halloween when I was little. I remember Mischief Night on November 4th where you went round daring each other to knock on a door and then you’d run like the clappers in case someone actually answered but Halloween?  Not so much. I blame the Americans, especially that Bart Simpson.

But Halloween is now big business in the UK although it has little to do with the original pagan ritual of seeing in the winter and giving thanks to the harvest.  My local branch of Sainsbury’s has a whole aisle dedicated to the orange and black world of spiders’ webs, skeleton masks and chocolate eyeballs.

For those of you who are true fans of all that spooky stuff you might want to read the following (I’ve omitted Darren Shan - it’s a given you all know his output already).  You could try:

• The Scream Street series by Tommy Donbavant (age 7+)

• Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy (not too scary and loads of dry humour - age 9+)

• The Robe of Skulls by Vivian French (as above)

• Poison by Chris Wooding (getting darker now… 10+)

The following were recommended by other writers. I haven’t read them but they are creepy. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

• Diana Wynne Jones’s Black Maria

• King Death’s Garden by Ann Halam

• The Bone Dog by Susan Price (about a little girl whose witch uncle makes her a pet out of an old meat bone and fox fur)

• The New Mother by Lucy Lane Clifford

my dream book shelf...

I’ve just come across a piece on the Bookseller magazine’s website about crime writer Lynda La Plante. Apparently she has criticized books ‘written’ by such celebrities as Katie Price at an awards ceremony.  ‘Publishers stop spending your millions on this tripe!’ she is said to have begged.

A big part of me agrees with her. I don’t mind the celebrity autobiographies at all but I do become frustrated when yet another ‘cleb’ thinks they’ll have a go at writing for children.  Writing for kids? Must be a piece of cake, right?  Now I know that whatever I say next is going to sound like sour grapes or just plain snobbish; never comment on anything you haven’t read is my motto but when someone such as Jools Oliver says she’s writing a book because all the modern children’s books are full of bad grammar and poor punctuation it puts my back up.   As for Katie  ‘I just think of the idea and someone puts the idea into books words for me’ Price …  beam me up Scotty!

On the other hand, if those personalities’ titles get kids reading, does it matter?  Anything that puts a book in a child’s hand instead of a keyboard mouse or a remote can’t be bad, can it?  Reading a ghost-written story by Darcey Bussell isn’t going to scar them for life.  Plus there are some celebrities who can write well;  Sandi ToKsvig, Ian Ogilvy and Charlie Higson for example.

The real problem comes when other writers are squeezed off the bookshelves. It’s bad enough competing for shelf space with the genuine ones as it is. Me, I’m as jealous as Cinderella’s sisters every time I search the P section and find blooming Dave ‘Captain Underpants’ Pilkey taking a whole shelf with his big box set (or should that be big boxers set?) but the thought of being bumped off altogether to make way for some bloke who was once in High School Vampire Ponies the Musical 3 is a thousand times worse.

Oh well. I’ll just have to do what it says on that wartime poster: Keep Calm and Carry On.

Grieve Primary School

So on to sunny Stockport for this week’s school visit. Sue Steele, who runs Simply Books, an award winning independent book shop in Bramhall, Cheshire, invited Tom and me to do a Reads United event at Grieve Primary. Wow! Did the school go to town or what?  First of all they designed match day ‘tickets’ to sell for the session in the evening. Buying a ticket entitled the children and parents to a free book and, almost as importantly, a pie!

The KS2 kids spent all morning on football themed lessons and were allowed to wear their team shirts to school for our event. Even the head, Mrs Johnson, wore an England one that played a tune. Well in, Miss! Being near Manchester, the main colours on show were pale blue (Manchester City) and red (Manchester United) followed by a sprinkling of Stockport County, Everton, Liverpool and (bravely) a few Leeds United. Not one Huddersfield Town shirt in the room, apart from mine. Shame! Anyway, we had a great time and I amazed myself by surviving the onslaught of the famous penalty shoot out, having volunteered to go in goal for the family session in the evening. David James eat your heart out!

A big thanks to everyone at the school for making us feel so welcome and Sue Steele for organising it.

Amazing Grace

LLandudno Library

Having gone to the pictures at Llandudno Junction the night before to see Pixar’s outstanding new film UP I was on a high for my final day in Wales (high - gerrit?).   Anyhow, the day was hectic but in a good way.  Hello to all the cheeky chappies at Ysgol San Sior and Morfa Rhiannedd. I’m sorry I didn’t have time to answer all your questions before being whisked away by the lovely Elin to………. Colywn Bay Library, cup of tea in hand!  It was so good to see so many familiar faces among the library staff and brilliant to meet Tan y Marian and Pendorlan schools.  I’m glad you enjoyed my story ‘Go Jordan Go’ and hope you put it into book form for me (as opposed to Katie Price’s ‘book words’).

After that was a trip to Abergele Library for my final event of the week. Anne Thomas (my Conwy hostess with the mostest) treated me to a delicious lunch of chicken and grape salad at the Coffee House Cafe down the road. I was well set up for the grand finale with Ysgol St Elfod’s Y6. A big school, this. I was wondering when the line would end as I watched them waiting to cross the road opposite the library. A sea of blue and white - great colours!  Great bunch of kids too.  Thank you all giving me something to smile about all the way home, even in the heavy Friday traffic round Manchester.

St Elfod's part 2

St Elfod's part 3

St Elfod Y6 part 1...

Megan Superstar

My final day in Denbighshire. After a breakfast of scrambled eggs on toast and a chat to a nice guy about the history of Sheffield FC (the oldest football club in the world) I was picked up by my librarian of the day, Carys Harries, and driven to Corwen.

Corwen was different from Ruthin in that the building materials are made of dark slate quarried from the surrounding hillside. Bathed in sunlight it gave the town a grand, ancient feel but I imagine in the rain Corwen might feel a little forbidding.

The library is a tall imposing building that was once the town hall. I was taken upstairs to find a huge hall, complete with a stage hidden by long blue velvet curtains and round lights that hung from the ceiling in pairs like gigantic mistletoe berries.

Ysgol Corrag arrived first clutching swimming bags for afterwards and then Ysgol Caerdrewyn joined them.  As had been the case all week, the two schools listened attentively and joined in wholeheartedly with the session. I was especially thrilled to meet Megan (above) who had scored five out of five on my Girls FC penalty shoot out game (see the Girls FC section on this website). I’ve never manged more than three so far!

For the second session I had three village schools - Ysgols Gwyddelwern, Betwys and Llandrillo. I always like meeting rural schools because it gives me chance to tell them all about when I taught at Besthorpe Primary, then the smallest primary school in Nottinghamshire and the inspiration behind There’s Only One Danny Ogle and Jade’s Story. Empathy, you see. It helps no end. Once more apologies to those three schools and Caerdrewyn for not taking a photograph. My time keeping is woeful.

Carys then drove me to LLangollen, a famous town that attracts thousands of tourists a year because it is home to the International Musical Eisteddfod as well as having a steam railway, an aqueduct built by Thomas Telford and Dinas Bran. Dynas Bran sits atop a high hill looking down on the town. Once a castle, there’s not much remaining now but a few crumbling walls but legend has it that this is where the Holy Grail was hidden.

It wouldn’t surprise me if Llangollen Library still had the Holy Grail hidden in its archives somewhere. it was certainly a gem of a building. Light, airy and with decorative plasterwork on the ceiling. How would my final session in Denbighshire end?  On a high. The Y3s and 4s from Ysgols Gwernant and Bryn Collen were terrific.  And so happy.  The good schools always are. When I asked them if they had a teacher who put on silly voices and made stories come alive when they read to them the response was immediate.  They had and, better still,  they were in the room!  This time my camera was at the ready as I captured that moment.

A great end to a brilliant three days. Thank you, Bethan Hughes at Denbighshire Library Services, for inviting me.

Spot the inspirational teachers!

Lovely plasterwork in Llangollen Library

Better than stockings for Santa!

Sometimes I forget how many books I’ve written so it took me by surprise when I walked into Ruthin Library and saw them displayed on this rather arresting brown marble mantel piece in the meeting room. I was especially chuffed to see the Welsh versions of Starring Sammie (Stori Sami) and Starring Brody (Stori Jes). It’s a blast seeing your books in another language, even when you haven’t got the foggiest how to read them!

First up today were Ysgols Llanbedr and Gellifor. They were brilliant at helping me edit my new book (this is known in the trade as killing two birds with one stone). One of the queries in my latest Girls FC manuscript was to find a different word for ‘mangled.’  My editor suggested ‘get a good kicking.’  The group suggested a bucketful of alternatives such as pulverised, executed and crushed but I think Scott’s ‘battered’ might be the one I go for. Thanks, Scott - I’ll let you know what the outcome is!

Following  them were Ysgol Pen Barras’s Y5 & Y6.  As with all the schools I’d met so far, classes Berwyn, Hiraethog and Menlli were a credit to the school. They asked excellent questions and brought copies of my Welsh editions with them for signing.  I love that!

After a gourmet lunch (including couscous wraps from Leondardo’s, the local deli, no less) Llinos the lovely librarian took me to Rhuddlan Library.  I should probably apologise now to the borrowers using the library that afternoon. The screaming from me and Ysgol y Castel’s Y4-6s during my reading from The Worst Ghost of All was totally uncalled for… but dead funny!  And Luke?  I’ll have that copy of There’s Only One Danny Ogle with you as soon as possible - I promise!

Pen Barras

Ysgol Pen Barras

Ysgol Esgob Morgan

Ask any children’s writer about school visits and they will tell you that every time they meet a new class they take a deep breath and think: ‘OK, what’s this session going to be like? What awaits me?  Do the kids have a clue why they’re here?  Have the staff built up the event?  Will I get out alive? I usually know within a minute. The great sessions are when the kids come in clutching sheets with questions to ask or, better still, have actually read my books.  The great sessions are when the teachers listen as intently as the kids instead of texting or marking.  The great sessions are when the children and staff participate immediately when I ask for volunteers, despite the risk of embarrassing themselves in front of their peers. So when I saw that I was kicking off with Y6 from Ysgol Esgob Morgan in St Asaph’s my heart leaped.  Great session guaranteed!  Esgob Morgan was one of the first schools I met when I came to North Wales five or six years ago. Their teacher, Mr Redgrave, was the sort of teacher you pray your kids will have as a form teacher. He was so keen, caring, full of good humour as well as being committed to the value of storytelling and books.  The fact that he is now the headteacher at the school came as no surprise. I knew I’d have a flying start to the day with his Y6 - and so it proved.

My second session with Ysgol Faenol was equally as enjoyable. The kids were buzzing! I’m so sorry I don’t have a picture of them to post but the session went so fast, as it does when it’s going well, that we ran out of time.  I hope you all received the signed postcards from Mrs Williams, guys!

So, all pumped up and ready for my final session of the day, I was driven to Prestatyn Library. I was impressed - the librarians had put up a display, re-arranged the furniture in their friendly children’s section and bigged me up by saying they were excited about my return visit as they knew what positive feedback they’d had last time.  Sadly,  Y5/6 at Ysgol Melyd will never know what they missed. They didn’t turn up!  What a shame - a shame for the kids who missed out, a shame for the librarians at Prestatyn who had gone to so much trouble and a shame for the other schools who might have come instead.

A bonus though, for Esgob Morgan. Rather than go straight back to the hotel, I offered to pop in to the two schools from the morning session and sign postcards. Unfortunately Ysgol Faenol had its answer machine on so we couldn’t get through to them but Esgob Morgan were up for it!  An extra treat for me was that as well as meeting the Y6s again I was able to drop by Mrs Richie’s class and hear some fabulous creative writing.  It meant I returned to my hotel on a high instead of feeling down in the dumps. We writers take no- shows very personally, you know, sensitive flowers that we are.

North Wales

I was in Northern Ireland earlier in the year, Scotland last week, Wales this. My carbon footprint is going to be big and deep but it’s worth it. Every time I travel it helps to remind me how varied and beautiful and breathtaking the United Kingdom is.  The photograph on the left is of the Vale of Clwyd, taken as I approached Ruthin from Wrexham.  My camera didn’t quite capture how sunny it was that evening but the view reminded me of that advertisement from the Welsh Tourist board where the little boy overhears some visitors talking about their stressful lives and he turns to his dad and says:  ‘What’s stress, Dad?’

You get spoilt by library services in Wales. They value their authors, you see; it’s in the blood. I stayed at the Manorhaus in Ruthin. It’s a perfect retreat for writers with its calm, pleasant rooms, art-filled walls, excellent food and small library to use.  Highly recommended. Check out the website on www.manorhaus.com.

Manorhaus library

How busy?  I’m going to have to get one of those t shirts printed with tour dates on the back.  It would read: October 6th Christ the King School, Motherwell. Starring P4 and 5s from Christ the King with special guests from Holytown Primary. Special thanks go to Theresa the secretary for ordering the school lunch (steak pie) and my fabulous agent Kathryn for acting as driver, compere and bookseller all at once!

October 7th A.M.: Braidhurst High School. Starring Kirsten Scott as the keen, caring and enthusiastic librarian.  What a great job she is doing in getting kids reading. Give her a raise! Double her budget! Send flowers!

October 7th P.M. Caldervale High School, Airdrie. Starring Mrs MacDonald as another keen, caring and enthusiastic librarian and Mr Hotchkiss, head of English and Hamilton Academicals supporter. Caldervale High School were participants in the North Lanarkshire Book Award (October 8th) and advocates for my book Accidental Friends. Although the award went to Theresa Breslin for  ‘Nostradamus’, Megan and Hannah, who introduced Accidental Friends to the audience were so cheerful and lovely that I felt as if I’d won!

On Friday October 9th I just had time to blow my nose before heading to Cheltenham to hook up with Tom Palmer for our first Reads United gig at the festival on the 10th. Hello to everyone who came and especially to Sean from Walker Books who went in goal for us! It saved me from doing it and looking like a wally (not that Sean looked like a wally but I know I would!) I didn’t get any pictures from our event but I’m looking forward to doing many more with Mr Palmer despite his Leeds United fixation.

My new best friends from Caldervale

Mrs Scott and some of her reading group

I’m heading north for the Catalyst Book Award hosted by North Lanarkshire Libraries for Book Week.  I’m delighted to say that my teen book, Accidental Friends, has been short-listed for this award alongside titles by Theresa Breslin, Garry Kilworth and Simon Morden.  I doubt that Accidental Friends will win - it’s probably a bit too ‘issues-led’ for boys to vote for it but it’s great to be nominated and I can’t wait to meet everyone at Braidhust High School, Calverdale High School and St Maurice’s. Coffee with cream, no sugar, please.

Before that I’m going to be talking about Girls FC to pupils at Holytown Primary and Christ the King Primary in Motherwell.  Kids, get ready.  I’m expecting loads of questions and advice on how to cure someone of a fear of taking headers.

As if that isn’t enough excitement for one week, when I return I’ll only have time for a quick jam butty before heading out again for the Cheltenham Book Festival. I’m appearing with Tom Palmer for our first ever Reads United session.  The Book It Tent, Imperial Gardens 2.30 pm. Saturday 10th October. Be there, dudes. It’s a blast! Last year I stood, jaw suitably dropped, as celebrity after celebrity edged past me in the Green Room.  Funnily enough the only person I saw who overawed me was Shirley Hughes, sitting unassumingly in a corner. The real stars shine quietest but for longer, don’t they?

Tom Palmer n' me

Yes, Tom is a Leeds United supporter. Please don’t hold it against him. He can still write and he’s a really nice guy. Honest.

New! I’ve noticed that librarians tend to have the title of the book they’re currently reading at the bottom of their e-mails so I thought I’d do the same. Here goes:

I am reading The Death Defying Pepper Roux by Geraldine McCaughrean. It’s brilliant.

PS: Can’t you take a year off, Geraldine? Go on ‘gardening leave’ or something? Just to give the rest of us a chance??