I am in a different country today. Wales to be exact. It’s similar to England but the streets signs are different and there are more sheep. On the road, instead of saying ’slow’ it says ‘araf.’ In this part of North Wales - I’m in Mold, Flintshire - most of the people sound English though. I’m not sure if the sheep.

Tomorrow I’ll be meeting the kids from the Flintshire Writing Squad. Now that is the main difference between England and Wales. In Wales the schools and library services actively promote writing. They reckon if you can have football squads you should have writing squads too. What happens is that Y5s who show potential are put forward by their teachers to be selected for the squad. Three times a year they are then taken out of school to spend a whole day with either a writer, a poet or perhaps a journalist. How fantastic! The squad then goes all the way to Y9 spending time with professional writers in order to nurture and develop their skills. I’m sure it won’t be long before a child is published and says ‘I owe it all to being a squaddie.’ Who knows - I might be meeting the future Gillian Cross or Jenny Nimmo tomorrow. Hope so!

Welcome to my world!  Home-Start authors being interviewed by the local press

I was delighted to attend a book launch with a difference in Newark today. The book, Island Adventures, was written by mums from Home-Start, a charity that supports parents with children under five.  The Newark branch of Home-Start celebrates its 25th anniversary this year and to commemorate the event some of the parents asked if they could write something.  Organizers Elaine and Nickie applied for funding and asked if I would lead the workshops.  Over a period of 4-5 Monday afternoons we worked on developing a bedtime story for the mums to read to their children. We also ate a lot of biscuits and had a laugh!

To be honest I think I got as much out of it as the mums - it was brilliant to be involved in something so worthwhile. I hope they all keep writing - Hazel (in green) Lesley (signing) Amy (in pink) and Linda (not shown) all had great ideas, took on board my comments and showed real potential. I hope their kids appreciate their unique bedtime stories but I also hope the women all continue with their writing.

Island Adventures, a collection of short stories by Amy Johnson, Hazel Clulow and Lesley McIntosh with illustrations by Laura Garrow was funded by Awards for All.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn -if you want old-school classics, start here

Even though we don’t live in Yorkshire any more we get the Yorkshire Post on a Monday to read the Huddersfield Town match report. It wasn’t that which vexed me for once but an article in the main paper by journalist Sarah Freeman. The headline was ‘Read all about it: 10 books to tempt teenagers into literature.’ Great, I thought - something about books.

Ms Freeman began by quoting ‘a recently published top 10 survey’ that had listed Harry Potter (which one?) The Da Vinci Code and Gillian McKeith’s You are what you eat’ among its recommended reads for teens.  Without being able to check her sources (I am always suspicious of journalists who quote ‘recently published surveys’.  Is it another way of saying ‘I am inventing this survey as I have a column to fill so I’ll keep it vague?)  Anyway, I agree with Freeman that such inclusions as McKeith’s seem a little odd but I found her own ‘definitive list’ even more odd especially as she added that the list of books was one that ‘…every teenager should be forced to read.’

Forced to read? Forced?  Since when has forcing a teenager to do anything led to a positive outcome? And since when should reading be something you force upon anyone?  Reading should be a joy, a pleasure, a life skill people of all ages do as naturally as breathing.  However we all know the joy of reading diminishes when other things take over like GCSEs, relationships, Facebook and bottles of WKD. It returns in the mid 20s after graduation. Trust me on this one.

The other thing that cheesed me off about Freeman’s list was how outdated it was. Has she even been in the young adult section of a book shop since 1983?  While her list is irrefutably worthy and stuffed full of more classics than Delia’s cookbook, only the most avid will-go-on-to-study English-at-Uni- reader would thrive on it.  Someone needs to send her a copy of The Ultimate Teen Book Guide (Hahn & Flynn) - and fast.

I’ve come up with my own equivalent to Sarah Freemans’ list (mine in blue). I’m not saying mine are better books, just more likely to be read through to the end by today’s ‘Youtube’ generation.  Here goes:

Lord of the Flies by William Goldman

Malarkey by Keith Gray, Looking for JJ - Anne Cassidy

Animal Farm by George Orwell

The Handmaid’s Tail - Margaret Atwood, How I live Now - Meg Rosoff

To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

Caught in the Crossfire - Alan Gibbons, Noughts and Crosses - Malorie Blackman

The Hobbit - JRR Tolkein

any Discworld books - Terry Pratchett

The Curious Incident of the Dog at Night-time by Mark haddon

(I’ll let her off with this one - it’s only a decade old and captured the zeitgeist)

The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole - Sue Townsend

Rachel Riley my so-called life - Joanna Nadin (a total rip-off of Mole but with more up-to-date references) or any Louise Rennison or Sue Limb.

Dracula - Bram Stoker

City of Bones by Cassandra Clare - vampires etc but better written than Twilight

The Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

Who is Jesse Flood - Malachy Doyle

The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

Rowan the Strange - Julie Hearn

A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess

Bloodtide - Melvin Burgess, Daz 4 Zoey - Robert Swindells

There are loads more I could add in general but I’ll save those for another post!

Girl in search of a title…

This is Tabinda. She is going to be the 8th book in the Girls FC series but at the moment we haven’t got a title for her. Her ‘problem’ in the story is that she is scared of heading the ball so the title needs to reflect that. It also needs to be in question form like the other books in the series.  The publishers have come up with three suggestions.

Here they are:

Isn’t this called football?

Can’t I just kick it?

Do I have to use my head?

In Waterstone’s on Saturday I did a mini survey. 6 children liked ‘Isn’t this called football? and the other two titles gained 9 votes each.  So it was too close to call on an out and out favourite.

Some of the children I asked came up with titles of their own:

Xavier: Wouldn’t my head fall off?

Edwin: Couldn’t you just roll it?

Alfie: Won’t my hair get dirty?

Chloe: What if I get a bump? and: What if it hurts me?

Spencer: Can’t I just throw it?

Alan MacDonald suggested: Won’t it hurt my head?

Before today i was leaning towards Can’t I just kick it? but now I’m not too sure. Any other ideas or voters out there?

Families were out in force spending their World Book Day Vouchers today.  Here I am with some of the children who came to Waterstone’s in Nottingham after my school visits and assemblies this week. So sorry about the ‘red eye’ photographs all of you!  Thank you for taking the time to say hello and buy a book.

Ted

Isobel

Sarah

Y6 Forest Fields Primary School

On to Forest Fields Primary School in Nottingham today. I offered to give a whole school assembly as thanks to the girls who helped me with Tabinda’s story. The four girls standing on the right are all stars. Not only did they help me with my research, they play football too. Such role models!

I got the impression that Sangeeta, Mujgana, Sajjal, Mahfuza and Amritha are pretty representative of this vibrant, friendly school; polite, hard-working, keen and kind. They are a tribute to their teachers and their families.

I’m hoping to see some of the children again tomorrow when I do a book signing in Waterstone’s, Nottingham. Anyone who comes along can help decide on the title for Tabinda’s story.

Waterstone’s, Bridlesmith Gate, Nottingham  10.00am -12.00 (with Alan MacDonald) and 1.30 - 3.00 (on my own - sob, sob).  Telephone 0115-9484499 to order a signed copy of a book.

The Bookcase at Lowdham has also got plenty of copies of Love Simonexxx and Clubbing Together in stock too. (tel: 0115 - 9664143)

Alan MacDonald and Helena Pielichaty in Dayncourt School Library

I celebrated World Book Day with Alan MacDonald in Nottingham this year. We visited two schools; Candleby Lane Junior in Cotgrave and Dayncourt Specialist Sports College in Radcliffe on Trent. Both events were fabulous. In the morning, pupils from Candleby Lane and Y5/6 pupils from Cotgrave C of E Primary School made us feel very welcome. Well, I say ‘us’. They were friendly enough to Alan but for some reason started booing and hissing half way through my act. All I’d done was bring out my Huddersfield Town shirt for my ‘There’s Only One Danny Ogle’ presentation. That’s Notts County and Nottingham Forest fans for you - can’t stand a whiff of competition!

After our session ended, Bridget Rogers, the wonderful librarian from Dayncourt who, along with Jane Streeter of The Bookcase, Lowdham, had made the visit possible, took us to Granny’s Pantry for lunch. I didn’t see ‘granny’ but her scones were well nice.

In the afternoon we moved on to Dayncourt a school I have passed so many times on my way to Nottingham but never been to. We arrived a little early so had time to mingle with the Year 7s in the library who were all doing a World Book Day quiz. Then Graham, a photographer from the Nottingham Evening Post arrived. It was soon obvious that Graham was no ordinary photographer - he had ambition. Not for him the static ‘hold your books up and say cheese’ pose. Oh no. Chairs were shoved aside. Tables were cleared. Books were removed from shelves to make interesting photo opportunities. Unfortunately the light wasn’t right and we ran out of time but all power to him for trying! And…er… sorry for wrecking your library, Mrs Rogers!

Our second session with pupils from Radcliffe on Trent Primary School was thoroughly enjoyable - actually, it was better than that, it was wicked! These kids were up for it and no messing. They’d arrived clutching books for signing. They’d prepared questions. They were willing to embarrass their teachers if called to do so. It would have been rude not to take advantage of that…

It was great sharing the sessions with Alan. He talked about how his character Dirty Birtie emerged from a picture book. He drew Dirty Bertie then invited the kids to make Bertie’s trousers messy. They duly obliged!

I focused on Simone this time (didn’t want more booing). As there were a lot of Y6s I talked about not being worried about going to secondary school and read Simone’s poem to Y6’s about to go into Y7. I’d forgotten how talented a poet she was…

Afterwards we were flooded with questions, many of which had to go unanswered. I can’t speak for Alan but if I come to a school where you are and you don’t get chance to ask me anything you can always leave a comment on my blog. I’ll answer all the sensible ones and all the not-so-sensible ones and I’ll pass the nutty ones on to Philip Ardagh. Apologies too, to Radcliffe as I didn’t get a photo of you. If any teachers took one and would like to send it to me, I’ll add it.

Candleby Lane. Thank you Ben, Nottingham Forest supporter, for being brave enough to wear a Town shirt!

Mrs Rogers still smiling, despite allowing us to wreck her library!

Alan and I will be signing books at Waterstone’s in Nottingham this Saturday 10.00 am - 12.00 and I’ll be there 1.30 pm - 3.00 pm too.

Jelly bean bull

It’s the start of school visits season. My first booking of the year was at Erdington Hall Primary School near Birmingham. I arrived in Birmingham the night before and spent the early evening looking round the Bull Ring area of the city centre. I was impressed with this life-size bull in the confectionery section of Selfridges. it was made entirely of jelly beans. Sugar heaven!

Next morning I managed to arrive at the school on time by setting off an hour and a half earlier than I needed to because Erdington is off junction 6 of the notoriously busy M6 motorway - now with lovely roadworks to add extra joy to your journey. Junction 6 is famous for being complicated - they don’t call it ’spaghetti junction’ for nothing. Luckily by getting up at 6.30 am and setting of at 7.30 am I managed to travel the 20 miles and successfully negotiate spaghetti junction in a mere hour and 20 minutes giving me time for a cup of tea before I began.

Erdington Hall Primary School is a huge Victorian building with original tiles half way up the walls and those long corridors built for confusing visitors. I did a whole school assembly then met the Year 3,4,5 & 6 classes. What a great bunch of kids. As usual they were fascinated with the fox fur I show when talking about Vicious Circle. Some thought it was a meerkat. None believed it was ‘real.’  Thank you to all the children who listened well and participated in the workshops. Have a great World Book Day on Thursday.

A World Book Day recommended read

It’s World Book Day next Thursday (March 4th).  Have you had the letter from school to take home telling you there’ll be a voucher for a £1 book? If so, did  your Mum roll her eyes and go: ‘What? Again? We’ve still got the one from last year.’ Hope not!

World Book Day is great. If you’re dead lucky, like the kids at Erdlington Hall Primary in Birmingham or Cotgrave and Dayncourt Schools in Nottingham you’ll be having that most awesome of events: AN AUTHOR VISIT FROM A REAL LIVE AUTHOR WHO ISN’T DEAD OR ANYTHING AND I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING after which life will never be quite the same again.

The least you can expect on WBD is that you’ll be asked to dress up as a character from a book. This is where female teachers start foraging at home for their pointy hats so they can be Winne the Witch for the eighth year running.  Blokes tend not to bother at all. ‘What are you dressed up as, Sir?’ (In my imagination, all children address male teachers as ‘Sir’. See: A Kestrel for a Knave by Barry Hines for literary references to this) . ‘What are you dressed up as, Sir?’ asks the Year Four boy, resplendent in fake beard, over-sized pale blue cotton shirt (belted at the waist) brown breeches and his sister’s Ugg boots, staring at his class teacher.

‘A teacher,’ replies the witty teacher.

‘From which book?’

‘I dunno. Harry Potter?’

‘Which teacher from Harry Potter?’

‘You tell me.’

‘I can’t think of one that wears an Adidas tracksuit.’

‘That’s cos you’ve no imagination, lad. Who are you supposed to be anyway?’

‘Leo Tolstoy.’

‘Right. Course you are.’ Pause.’You need to get out more.’

I dream of being a £1 book. Alas, the closest I’ve got to it is being chosen as a Recommended Read.  It happened with Starring Sammie from the After School Club series and has happened this year with Do Goalkeepers Wear Tiaras? I’m not quite sure what being a Recommended Read means. I’m grateful and happy and over the moon to be chosen but does anyone know about them? The Recommended Reads are quite difficult to locate, even on the World Book Day website.  For those curious enough to try it go to:  www.worldbookday.com and click on the section listed as ’schools and children’ then click on ‘author details’ then click on the P on the alphabet at the top (ignoring all other letters) and there you’ll find me next to the legend who is Sir Terry Pratchett. You will then be able to open an extract from the book and read an interview about me. Do Goalkeepers Wear Tiaras? doesn’t seem to have any other worksheets or activities but maybe you have to be logged on or pay a tenner or something for that. Anyway, have a peep. What else are you going to do on a soggy afternoon?

Now, when you’ve got your WBD £1.00 book voucher, be sure to take it to that rare thing called a book shop.

bookshops look like this

You can check out the Waterstone’s website to find out where I’ll be on Saturday March 6th if you want to not only spend your WBD voucher on one of my books but also to have it signed (absolutely free of charge) by me. I’ll be with Alan (Dirtie Bertie) MacDonald in the morning and all by myself (sob) in the afternoon.

(The answer is Nottingham  10.00 am - 12.00 noon then 1.30 - 3.00pm)

You should visit this bookshop too←. It’s in a village called Lowdham in Nottinghamshire and a very nice lady called Jane runs it.  Tell her I sent you.

a delivery of dictionaries...

Despite the internet, I still use books for my research. I have a shelf full of them above my desk. Here’s a condensed inventory:

First and foremost, there are my dictionaries. I have :

One Oxford Concise (split in half down the spine at ‘K’) - useful for everyday spelling and meanings of words

One Penguin Rhyming Dictionary - for those vital times when I need to rhyme ‘theorize’ with ‘rubberize’.

One Dictionary of Saints (Oxford) - last used when deciding what to call my girls’ school in Gemma’s story. Would it be St Catherine (patron saint of schoolgirls) St Jude (desperate cases) or St Brigid (dairymaids)? Watch this space.

One Roget’s Thesaurus - battered

One Usage and Abusage by Eric Partridge (used and abused)

One Yorkshire Dictionary, by ‘eck

One Bryson’s Dictionary (new - bought it in the Borders fire sale in December)

One Baby Names around the World (Lansky) - brilliant for choosing characters’ first names

One Guinness Book of Names ( ditto above for surnames, pet names, house names) Now out of print.

One Slang Thesaurus - for my teen books

One Concise English Dictionary by Dr Charles Annandale, M.A., LL.D. This, like me, is a precious thing. It is not just any old dictionary, it is a ‘literary, scientific and technical dictionary’ with ‘pronouncing lists of proper names and of foreign words and phrases - key to names in mythology and fiction - and other valuable appendices - with sixteen plates printed in colour.’ So there.

One Brewer’s Dictionary of Names - bought using vouchers given to me as a leaving present from when I taught at Southwell Minster School (same school Gavin from Gavin and Stacey went to as well as Paul Franks, Notts CC cricketer).

The Local Historian’s Glossary of Words and Terms - useful for if ever I want to become  a local historian.

Are you impressed? I am. Not so much because of the books but because of the shelf holding up the books. Well done that bracket!