I won’t be blogging for a week because I’m going on holiday.
I’ll be flying into here→ 
(not literally, I hope)
Then sightseeing here ←
(Florence - can’t wait)
When not sightseeing I’ll be eating loads of ….
and, of course…
and I’ll come back looking …
…but happy!
Melanie’s Poem
Don’t be worried
Don’t be scared
The teachers are fine
Ignore what you’ve heard
♥
Don’t be mean
Don’t be passive
You’ll like the school
Although it’s massive
♥
The dinners are great
The flapjacks are ace
Ignore the Year Eights
If they push in your place
♥
Do your homework
Fill in your planners
The teachers are nice
But keen on good manners
♥
There are hundreds of pupils
Who’ll make proper mates
If your old ones dump you
And turn into fakes
♥
There are discos and clubs
Trips to go bowling
Year Seven is ace
There’s no need for moaning
♥
At home life will change
That’s also a fact
They’ll nag about homework
And is your bag packed?
♥
If, like me,
You live in two houses
Have double of everything
Like knickers and blouses
♥
Your hair will go greasy
After, like, one hour
Your armpits will pong
You’ll need a shower
♥
What more can I say
To you Year Sixes
Just go for it kids
And be good mixers
♥♥♥
© Helena Pielichaty 1999 from Simone’s Diary (now only available in Love Simone xxx) published by Oxford University Press
Love SimoneXXX
Following on from my ‘back to school blog’ I thought it was high time to give Simone a mensh. Simone is one of my favourite characters. She came to me almost complete which is so rare for me. Usually I have to wait a while, sometimes until I’m three quarters of the way through a book, before the character reveals themselves to me fully. Simone though - she was there from the start; bright and enthusiastic, observant and kind. Amazingly, for someone who began as a short story called Dear Rumpelstiltskin, she blossomed and grew into a three book series beginning with Simone’s Letters where she is in Y5 at the beginning but ends when she’s in Y6 and about to leave for secondary school. Simone’s Letters did so well it was nominated for the 2000 Carnegie medal (yeah, baby). OUP had commissioned a sequel by then, which became Simone’s Diary. Simone’s Diary is why I’m writing. It’s perfect for anyone about to start Y7; girl or boy. I’m not just saying that because I wrote it but because I don’t think there’s been any other book since that specifically covers starting secondary school. When it was a stand-alone title (it’s only available as a bind up now along with Simone’s Letters and Simone’s Website called Love SimoneXXX) Y6 teachers used it as a class reader after the SATS to reassure their classes that they’d be fine at secondary schools and Y7 teachers used it to help the new kids settle in and to give them a laugh. Simone’s experiences cover every base, from fear of losing her bus pass to dealing with changing friendships. In the diary, which is written by Simone for Ben Cohen, the student who was on teaching practice in her primary school and is now doing a dissertation on transferring from primary to secondary, Simone describes her timetable:
‘I can’t believe I have fourteen different teachers. I’ll never remember them all. And we have the really strict Mr Skibereen for history, so I’m not looking forward to period four on a Monday and period six on a Thursday. Lessons are called periods here. Chloe started giggling when Mr Curbishley said we would be having thirty periods a week. She said in a dead loud whisper that she thought one a month was bad enough (as if she knows) and I was scared in case anyone heard her but no one had.’
It made me realize how long ago I wrote the Simone books when I saw that Simone’s Diary was dedicated to my son Joe ‘who went through Year Seven at the same time as Simone.’ Joe has just graduated from university and found his first job. That means Simone would too! Scary thought.
You know what though? Simone’s Diary is just as fresh as it was when I wrote it and just as relevant to today’s Y7s. So there.
By strange coincidence, I was searching my stationery drawer for a jiffy bag the other day and I came across Sue Heap’s original illustrations to Simone’s Diary. I’m ashamed to say I’d forgotten I had them so it was such a pleasure to re-discover them, all individually wrapped in acid-free paper. Sue captured Simone simply and perfectly.
Sue Heap's original artwork for 'Diary'
Love Simone xxx published by OUP £6.99. Cheap as chips.
For more on Sue Heap check out her page on the Walker website http://www.walker.co.uk/contributors/Sue-Heap-1686.aspx
So we’re nudging into September already. That means back to school as the TV advert on the Staedtler pens reminded me (note to producers - little girls don’t look like Pippi Longstocking anymore). So, have you got your new uniform? New shoes? Plasters for when new shoes give you blisters as big as crabapples? What about trainers for PE? Remind your mum/dad that if your feet have grown, they’ve grown for participation in all subjects. On a more personal note to mums. Mum, if your son is in, say, Y9 about to go into Y10 and happens to be staying with his Auntie Helena over the weekend don’t give him £100 to buy a new school coat with her. This is asking for trouble. Aunties are second only to grandmas as for as over- indulgence is concerned. Of course they’re going to blow the whole lot on a leather jacket in TK Maxx (down from £200 - bargain). Yes, Auntie Helena admits leather may well stray outside the uniform guidelines but the kid looked cool; that’s the only guideline you need for secondary school… I rest my case.
OK. moving on to accessories. We’re talking rucksacks, pencil cases and lunch boxes. The ranges you can get now are amazing. Everything from Ben 10 to Tracy Beaker to Cath Kidson (for the kid who looks like the one in the Staedtler advert). My advice on pens is to avoid anything diamond encrusted, bobbly, furry, fat and shiny. They might look good but they won’t improve your handwriting and they’ll have your eye out. Plus that kid in Year 4 will only nick them anyway. You have been warned.
Tip for new parents/guardians from one who’s been-there-done-that on the subject of : Name tags. Yes, they’re a pain to sew in but the iron-in ones are useless. Don’t be tempted. Go for the traditional Cash’s variety and get that sewing basket out now. There’s nothing sadder than a tub full of Billy No-name sweatshirts in lost property. Yogurt stains are not a unique identifying feature. Ditto mud and bogies.The good news is you only need to order the full name for the firstborn. Order way too many at this stage because then you just cut firstborn’s first name off the extras and second and third born etc is just identified by their surname from then on in. Like never having a photo of themselves on their own, 2nd/3rd borns etc get used to these things. They’ll pay you back later.
OK, kids, back to you. What about your new teacher? How are you going to approach them on the first day? My advice is, whether you’ve got an inexperienced teacher fresh out of college or old hand, be kind. Open the door/ water the plants/ listen when they rant on about the new toilets/ tell them you like their tie/shoes/unique approach to mental maths. A bit of creeping on the first day never hurt anyone. In fact in Germany they take in cones stuffed full of sweets called Zuckertüte to share out (if you decide this is the way to go check out the policy on healthy eating first. Schools are kind of weird about sweets these days - maybe shove a few dried apricots on top as a decoy). Whatever ploy you go for to appease your teacher, it’s money in the bank, kids, money in the bank.
Meanwhile enjoy your last week of freedom; you might not have it next year. Plans are afoot by mean politicians to reduce the length of the summer holidays. Yes, it’s true. Using the feeble pretext of ’new research’ they’re claiming that kids become thicker in the six week gap. If this is so, how come public schools have even longer? Ha! What about the trillions of things you can do in the holidays that boosts your brain? Watching TV isn’t all bad. There are loads of educational shows such as ‘Are You Smarter Than a Ten Year Old (General Knowledge) Countdown (maths) X Factor (aspirational singing) Big Brother (anthropology) The Great British Bake-off (food technology) Match of the Day (sport) etc. The libraries are doing their bit, too. There’s been the summer reading challenge going on: http://www.summerreadingchallenge.org.uk/
No, the government plan to limit the holidays is a smoke-screen. They’re after your freedom. Fight it! Six weeks isn’t nearly long enough. Boredom is good. Overworked teachers not good. I feel a new campaign coming on. SOSH. Save our summer holidays or HOOSH Hands off our summer holidays. More Zuckertüte I say and more time to play.
I’m delighted that Anne Cassidy’s (www.annecassidy.com) book Looking for JJ has been included on the Book Trust’s all time Top Ten Teen Books. Looking for JJ did what all good books do - it broke the mould. Just as Melvin Burgess’s Junk blew everyone away when it tackled drugs head-on in an honest yet non-preachy way, Looking for JJ explored how life might be for someone with an appalling and unpalatable past - that of a child murderer. Cassidy dared to make the muderer ‘Kate’/JJ three-dimensional instead of a monster. The reader was taken gently and firmly into this girls’ life and felt sympathy and compassion for her. An excellent read for teens who like thought-provoking novels.
Other books on the list include the more recent Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman (which I bought for my son Joe but haven’t read myself yet - must ask him for feedback) and Henry Tumour www.guardian.co.uk/…/featuresreviews.guardianreview12 - by Anthony McGowan (which is hilarious but dark). The list doesn’t include Saturday Girl, Never Ever or Accidental Friends by me but hey… one day, people, one day…
Not satisfied with having enough to distract me from my writing I am now on Twitter. This is Anne Cassidy’s fault so I can blame her for shortening my attention span even further! Actually, I don’t know why I didn’t join earlier. It’s brilliant for linking to new blogs and keeping up to date with trends in the book world. I’ve linked to several libraries, other children’s writers, book review sites such as book bag (www.thebookbag.co.uk) and many more. I’m not bothering with celebrities at the mo, apart from David Schneider and Sarah Silverman because they are witty.
To follow me type in my name - all apart from the y at the end as it’s too long! So I’m Helenapielichat on www.twitter.com
My first ‘tweet’ was a recommended website www.slushpilehell.tumblr.com which is an amusing site by a literary agent (though I have my suspicions about how genuine the ‘agent’ is) who shares some of the gems from covering letters would-be writers submit to him. The letters are off-the-wall but the ‘agent’s’ responses are so funny; very American but very funny. Highly recommended for writers everywhere. A big thanks to Stephen Elboz for alerting me to it.
Anagnorisis: the Greek word for ‘recognition’ or ‘discovery’ to denote the turning point in a drama at which a character (usually the protagonist) recognizes the true state of affairs, having previously been in error or ignorance.’ (definition abbreviated from the Oxford Concise Dictionary of Literary Terms).
Not to be confused with ‘climax’ or ‘dénouement’ of the plot. Sadly, I’m a few chapters away from those babies yet.
Anyway, I’m working on the anagno thingummy in Eve’s story. Every good book has one - or more. It’s where something ‘clicks’ into place and leads to a change of behaviour or attitude in the main character.
Examples are:
1. When a victim is finally pushed too far and decides to take action against the bully, having found a chink in the bully’s armour or strength in his/her own character. In my teen book, Accidental Friends, 16 year old James’ anagnorosis comes when his older sister, who was always viciously mean to him when they were little, didn’t have any power over him any more. ‘Then he realised something. He no longer had to crick his neck to stare up at her as he began to plead with her to let him go. He was taller than Imogen and probably physically stronger. As observations went it wasn’t earth shattering but it was enough to give James the boost he needed. He squared his shoulders as she began to gather her words…’
2. When the character sees or hears something totally unrelated to their problem and it triggers a memory or train of thought that leads to the solving of the problem. This happens in one of my favourite TV programme House a LOT. In every episode of House, (House being Dr Gregory House, the rudest but most brilliant doctor in his field ever) House will be given an obscure illness no one in the whole wide world has come across before. Three- quarters of the way through the programme, the patient will be five, maybe six seconds tops from snuffing it. House, having already tried every avenue (drilling holes into the skull, replacing blood with organic lemonade, that kind of thing) and at his wits’ end, sees, let’s say, a bunch of daisies. His eyes open wide. ‘Stop the treatment! It’s not lupus-yakult disease!’ he cries ‘It’s Muller-Lightrametiosis.’
‘How do you know?’ asks Wilson, his implausibly patient side-kick. ‘The daisies… ‘ and he’ll go on to give an impecable explanation.
‘OMG,’ says Wilson. ‘You are so coool.’ Or words to that effect.
So there you have it; your new word of the day. Anagnorisis. Must be worth something in Scrabble if nothing else. Tomorrow: tragedy as in ‘it’s a tragedy she spent so much time on her blog she missed her deadlines…’
Huddersfield Town were thumped by Peterborough on Saturday; 4-2 after being ahead 2-0. So that’s won one, drawn one and lost one so far. Nothing like being consistent.
Better news for England Women who beat Austria 4-0 to qualify top of their table for Germany next year. Yey!
In honour of the weekend’s results I rooted out this old poem by Peter Dixon (from The Young Oxford Book of Football Stories edited by James Riordan):
And here are the football results
Blackburn 3…. Half past 4
Chelsea 4….. After 8
West Ham 2…. Jaws 3
Leeds 1…. Famous 5
Newcastle 0… Secret 7
Everton 2….. M1
QPR 1…. QE2
Bolton 3…. Page 3
Liverpool 6….. Seven 11
Manchester United 1… Figure 8
Who says typing your own name into Google to see what comes up is for egotistical saddos with nothing better to do with their time? Look what I found! This is my teen book Never Ever only it’s in…. it’s in… um…. another language. Who knew? Certainly not I, the creator of this fine work. I feel a phone call to Oxford University Press coming on. Hello… chuffed but puzzled author speaking…
Actress, comedienne and producer Kathy Burke was on Radio 4s Desert Island Discs today. As Kathy Burke is one of my ‘people I’d like to have round a dinner table’ choices I couldn’t wait to hear what she had to say. Whatever it was, I knew it would be much more frank and down-to-earth than the usual luvvies they have on. I was right! She was, as always, funny, honest and self-deprecating. She talked candidly about her difficult upbringing. Her mother died of cancer when Kathy was young and her father was strict and often violent. When asked who she based the character of Perry on in Harry Enfield’s show, she said he was herself as a 13 year old; awkward and uncomfortable in her own skin. Punk music liberated her, a genre that allowed her to dress how she wanted and look how she wanted without being judged. Weirdly, her music choices mirrored mine (although I’m ten years older) with Joy Division’s classic Love Will Tear Us Apart and T Rex’s takes-me-straight-back-to-Y9- Ride A White Swan included.
Kathy as Linda La Hughes in Gimme, Gimme, Gimme.
